Today is R U Ok Day.
So I’m asking R U Ok? If the answer is no, or you know someone who is not okay, keep reading.
Sometimes the feelings can creep up on us, until WHAM, we wake up one day feeling like we have a concrete slab on our chest. Or sometimes we just feel like we walk through each day in a fog. Or maybe for you, it is more like someone turned the colours down and everything is grey or beige.
Where did the LIFE go in your life? [Insert sound of crickets]
We realise we want to feel better but we just don’t know-how. We stay stuck on that merry-go-round, repeating the same thoughts, the same feelings, and the same actions. Nothing will change unless you change. Yes, that’s right. Absolutely nothing will change unless you decide it’s time to change. I know this because I have been there.
There was a period in my life where I just felt like I was existing. The things that used to bring me joy no longer did. I felt lost, isolated, scared and alone. I struggled to find meaning in my work. I looked around and wondered if I even belonged where I was. I was afraid of the future, stuck in the past and quite frankly – I was a pain in my own butt!
One day something clicked. The pain of staying the same was just too huge and I made that decision to do something about it. I made the decision to change. Here are the keys for you to open that door too, improve the results you create in your life and really start living a life that you love.
Key one: Inspire yourself – be okay to shine and be your own hero. Motivation starts by moving away from what you don’t want, but this isn’t enough to keep you moving. Once you’ve moved away from whatever it is, what then? You need the inspiration to give you the juice to move and gain momentum in the direction of what inspires you. Reach for the stars. Be self-reliant, trustworthy and consistent as you move towards your goals. And always keep your promises and your word to yourself! Do what you say you are going to do.
Key Two: Persist Against Frustration – there is no getting around stuff in life. Stuff is going to happen and when it does, you must walk through it. So many people in life give up on a goal because something happens, it’s too hard or it’s taking too long. What they didn’t know is that realising their goal was just around the corner. When you plant a tree seed in the ground, do you instantly expect to get shade? Of course not. You need to tend to it, water it, fertilise it, nurture it and be patient!
Then a tiny sprout appears, which will continue to grow if you nurture it over time. You really want shade and it’s frustrating how slow nature is sometimes. There is rain, there are snails, and not to mention winter, which slows down the growth. Do you give up and dig out the seedling? Or do you persist with the vision of what that seedling is going to become? The choice is yours.
Key Three: Delay Gratification – You must be willing to pay your dues and keep moving. You must be willing to do whatever it takes. Set yourself up for and acknowledge the smaller, easy wins along the way, and keep going. These give you the stamina and keep building your confidence to hit the larger, more enduring rewards.
Key Four: Manage Your Emotions – Think of a time when you were down in the dumps and something happened to snap you out of it. Like your friend rang or you had an appointment with a client which, even for that time, changed your initial mood. Your mood changed because your focus changed. You can do this on your own by doing things like going to the gym, leaving the house to have coffee with a friend or doing some social activity that you can focus on other people. Even when you don’t feel like it, do something! Taking action changes your emotions, which then changes your experience.
Key Five: Always Have Hope – There is always a light, even when all you notice is darkness. When you look for the light and are open to seeing it, it will appear. Anything is possible, even if the only evidence you are noticing right now is to the contrary. Rather than stay stuck in the pain, give yourself something to look forward to. Write it up there on your calendar where you will see it every day. Plan a few things over the coming weeks that you are going to do, either with other people or on your own. Something happens mentally when you know you’ve got stuff coming up. Plan a nature walk. Plan a movie with a friend. Plan to go watch the local cricket team, even if you know no one there. Sign up for a free seminar and get out of the house. This will raise your energy and new ideas of other new things to do will come to you.
Key Six: Empathise and Be Compassionate – Not only with others but with yourself. We are all human and we are all doing the very best we can, given the resources that we have available to us. If we knew how to do better, we would. Be okay if things have screwed up. Be okay to make a mistake and learn from it. When you be empathetic and compassionate with yourself and you give this to others, you will notice this in the world and this will be your experience.
Key Seven: Practice Impulse Control – There are so many distractions in the world today. We’ve got a TV, mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google, video games and the list goes on and on. It’s non-resourceful to allow these things to distract you and keep you from achieving your goals. Time can be swallowed up so quickly and I believe the time is our most precious commodity. How you spend your time has a huge impact on how you feel at the end of the day. Direct your focus and energy to what you want most (getting that report done and dusted before 5 pm), not what you want right now (chatting for 45 minutes to your best friend). Before you start something, set your intention on what you want to achieve, tell yourself that you CAN and have a monomaniacal focus!
I’m Jodie and All Balanced Life is my business. I am a personal success coach and a mother of 3 teenagers! I partner with professional women who feel stuck in their careers, business or even life itself. Women who are ready to let go of the illusion of what they think their life should be like, break through barriers holding them back, reconnect with their authentic selves and really start living a life they truly love.